A SOUL TALK!

This is not new to me, i mean drowned in sadness (not exactly, but a kind of vague emptiness in your mind that you are always trying to push it away by replacing them with pleasant ones). I felt i should talk about this to someone. But how will i start, how can i explain this emptiness? I know people always come out with a number of questions like what, why and how? Can i answer them? No, when I myself can’t figure it out. I decided I could write about this in my blog so that I can speak to myself about this. Sometimes, when I discuss what surfaces to me as my own problems never sound like a real problem to others. The listeners of my problem claim that, my so called ‘problem’ is not coming under any of the real time/existing problems blueprint. Simply, your problem has no life and no crux. Or as my listeners eventually come to a conclusion stating that, what happens to you also happen to others and they are nothing but mishaps not a dramatized problem as you imagine. Do you still think them as one?! I ask that question to myself. I compare the real life problems that other people have. Even though, as my problem listeners tell my problems are uninteresting and lifeless I always see them the other way. A tiny speck that is closer to your eyes is always bigger than a mountain far from your eyes. Universal truth :)  To me, both happiness and emptiness increases exponentially. Just like an avalanche. You can’t even have the slightest doubt of its occurrence once it is over. Or I can sleep over my problems in a night’s sleep. I can’t force myself to concentrate on something because it should be spontaneous and out of interest. Now and then; then and there the problems resurface and spoil the day’s charm. I know the next day I won’t feel for what I am feeling today at least not the same intensity. I think this is because I am trying to churn out the things that I failed miserably in my mind or am thinking to stop the things before they fail. Either way I am drained out. How to free myself from these clanged thoughts? Right now I am talking to myself and trying to drill down to the deepest reasons for the 5 W’s, ifs’ and buts’ and any interrogation for that matter. I know where I will stop? Circling to drain :P the heaviness that I had in my mind is lighter now. I am speaking to myself actually as statements and conversations (monologues). People on the internet can come over this (lifeless) article and sigh just another @#$%!! Or to my surprise they can also experience a similar state but with a better solution. I am writing this for me very much subjective and objective to my very own self. Attempt of easing, what bothers you is a physical one or mental one, person or thing, a friend or family member, fault on your side or other side, can seek immediate solution or not, pursue or wait for the right time to things fall in place or keep it aside for some time. Choose anyone of these my instruction to my mind. Don react when the problem resurfaces and give time to it, if nothing can’t be done to solve it at least it will settle down in its pace. It is kind of a good exercise that I feel even lighter than before starting this post. (In this less permanent and more temporary world this is a temporary solution :))

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