Irreversible Lunacy :)

A SOUL TALK!

santhana selvam — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 08:47:12 +0000

This is not new to me, i mean drowned in sadness (not exactly, but a kind of vague emptiness in your mind that you are always trying to push it away by replacing them with pleasant ones). I felt i should talk about this to someone. But how will i start, how can i explain this emptiness? I know people always come out with a number of questions like what, why and how? Can i answer them? No, when I myself can’t figure it out. I decided I could write about this in my blog so that I can speak to myself about this. Sometimes, when I discuss what surfaces to me as my own problems never sound like a real problem to others. The listeners of my problem claim that, my so called ‘problem’ is not coming under any of the real time/existing problems blueprint. Simply, your problem has no life and no crux. Or as my listeners eventually come to a conclusion stating that, what happens to you also happen to others and they are nothing but mishaps not a dramatized problem as you imagine. Do you still think them as one?! I ask that question to myself. I compare the real life problems that other people have. Even though, as my problem listeners tell my problems are uninteresting and lifeless I always see them the other way. A tiny speck that is closer to your eyes is always bigger than a mountain far from your eyes. Universal truth :) To me, both happiness and emptiness increases exponentially. Just like an avalanche. You can’t even have the slightest doubt of its occurrence once it is over. Or I can sleep over my problems in a night’s sleep. I can’t force myself to concentrate on something because it should be spontaneous and out of interest. Now and then; then and there the problems resurface and spoil the day’s charm. I know the next day I won’t feel for what I am feeling today at least not the same intensity. I think this is because I am trying to churn out the things that I failed miserably in my mind or am thinking to stop the things before they fail. Either way I am drained out. How to free myself from these clanged thoughts? Right now I am talking to myself and trying to drill down to the deepest reasons for the 5 W’s, ifs’ and buts’ and any interrogation for that matter. I know where I will stop? Circling to drain :P the heaviness that I had in my mind is lighter now. I am speaking to myself actually as statements and conversations (monologues). People on the internet can come over this (lifeless) article and sigh just another @#$%!! Or to my surprise they can also experience a similar state but with a better solution. I am writing this for me very much subjective and objective to my very own self. Attempt of easing, what bothers you is a physical one or mental one, person or thing, a friend or family member, fault on your side or other side, can seek immediate solution or not, pursue or wait for the right time to things fall in place or keep it aside for some time. Choose anyone of these my instruction to my mind. Don react when the problem resurfaces and give time to it, if nothing can’t be done to solve it at least it will settle down in its pace. It is kind of a good exercise that I feel even lighter than before starting this post. (In this less permanent and more temporary world this is a temporary solution :))

Prepared all the time! Why?

santhana selvam — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 08:24:19 +0000

Damn! I can’t be prepared all the time. Atleast, thats not the way of my life!! You can tag me incompetent or in capable or fit for nothing or good for nothing. Who cares!. I am really annoyed of being prepared for everything from waking up in the morning, catching a bus to office like a poor soul among the 50s and 100s just to get inside and have a seat, juggling between shareautos to get a 5 to 6 inch space. (If you reside in Chennai you will know what i mean) managing your work in office and getting back with all the days headache to home. But to my surprise my mind never slips into any of these chaos. I wake up when i nomore want to continue sleeping, i walk at my own pace (i can never do something inbetween running and walking) i wait for all the swarming crowd to get inside the bus and catch a half empty bus, take a window seat, listen to music, read my novel, choose the full empty shareauto and i have no problem waiting till the shareauto getting its full load. What am i missing here? Only if i don’t do any of these and be like ‘prepared for all the time’ people, i will miss hell a lot of my everything. Thank God for not being so sterotypical in life.

Who said money cant buy anything? Dont you get an auto to reach some spot in time, fearing the travel by bus would land you as a dafaulter? Sometimes i compromise time for comfort. Comfort is not a luxury or extravaganza here. comfort is comfort. You manage to fist, fight, kick, pull and push all 50 people on your way to enter a bus only to discover all the seats are full and you have to stand with the crowd asking a hundred times why the #$%*^ i got into this bus? simply, i would prefer to wait for 10mins to get into another bus without all my life- giving attempts to enter it. I call this comfort.

Tragedy struck Japan in the form of Tsunami and earthquake!!!

santhana selvam — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 10:16:42 +0000

I was surfing sify.com one of my favourite news and enteratinment site like anyday in office. One news link caught my eyes standstill that is 8.8 richter earthquake hit South Japan, which caused a 4 meter high tsunami sweping away the houses and vehicles. In a shortwhile north Japan was also hit by the earthquake with a comparatively lesser damage. But damage is a damage for that matter. Most of the people are burried in the land with concrete debris all over them. I pray God, the lose of lives should not be high and people struck under buildings should stay alive until they are rescued to breathe the fresh air.

This disaster deeply struck my heart as Japan is my favourite country, for that matter i am nicknamed Japan . A land of technology. A land of hard workers. A land of people with strong attitude. I always believe Japanese are self motivated than anyother people in the whole world. It’s still a big question how Japan survived and attained the stature of Second largest world economy after the Hiroshima and Nakasaki attack. With the same hope and billions of prayer for the brethrens in Japan, I wish Japan to Rise again. Stronger than ever. J

One more important thing in blogging this post is to praise Google for its very thoughtful and responsible act. Google tagged a alert message in Google search page alarming the next earthquake prone zone. There’s no wonder how communication is getting any better with Google every day. Google rocks again!

2010 in review from wordpress. merci beaucoup ^_^

santhana selvam — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 06:30:38 +0000

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Fresher than ever.

Crunchy numbers

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,400 times in 2010. That’s about 3 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 11 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 51 posts. There were 16 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 6mb. That’s about a picture per month.

The busiest day of the year was June 20th with 31 views. The most popular post that day was 3 minutes is equal to 60 minutes, Chennai Traffic!!.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were bigextracash.com, en.wordpress.com, en.search.wordpress.com, twitter.com, and mail.yahoo.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for quiche lorraine, my orkut beta, barking dogs seldom bite, google chrome fifa theme, and chrome fifa theme.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

3 minutes is equal to 60 minutes, Chennai Traffic!! June 2010
8 comments

Google chrome FIFA Theme is awesome June 2010
1 comment

My Orkut Beta! November 2009
9 comments

Barking dogs seldom bite !! May 2010
6 comments

About September 2008
2 comments

Childhood days blossom :)

santhana selvam — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 15:20:42 +0000

I am very excited even before i start this post. Just the thought of it gives me a happy feeling that spreads to every single cell of mine. Everyone of us would have had many interesting childhood moments as fresh as a daisy. I am sure all of us at one point of our life would tell this ” i wish i had been a child all my life” or ” If only i go back to my childhood days” The fun what we had is boundless. We fear nothing, we have our own thinking and we speak what we think. The excuses which we got as a child are always great. Imagine, who will excuse us for pouring water on some stranger! i bet we get into the nerves of that stranger, if we do that now even as an accident this what we will hear, “You have grown this big and you are still learning to hold water carefully, you idiot!!!” . (sometimes even bad than this )

As a child, i spent my fun filled happy-go-lucky moments to the fullest . I liked to blow balloons, float Soap bubbles, play with sling shot, fly kite, measure time with sand-clock, take the bubble wrap and pop it continuously, take a ride in the bicycle, eating pomegranate and corn seed by seed, playing with street friends trying out every possible game forgetting the time and food. I always liked the bulk holidays Quarterly, half- yearly and annual days as time is plentiful:) sitting and watching cartoons. For one reason why i woke myself as early as 7 in holidays is just to watch the cartoons in cartoon network. I would say i have planted myself before the tv and watched the cartoon from dawn to dusk Cutting images/pictures from magazines sticking it to a notebook, trying experiments from the encyclopedia (often it s a flop, that’s another story ), waving hands to the aeroplane until it vanishes as a dot in the sky, after every rain looking out for a rainbow. All are just amazing even to think now.

Every morning with boost in my hand i will watch my dad doing his routine shaving. I never felt bored to see that, i like the way he does it. I am not sure whether my father is a well organised man, but he is pretty organised in his shaving routine. I can recite the procedure like a memory poem even now. I believe in those days we didn’t have shaving gels, all i remember is a soap like Godrej bar, with a brush and little water he use to lather the foam. Also, the way he inserts the razor to that shaving machine. The working of the machine is not as complicated as the word machine. I admired it most Waiting for every Friday to enjoy the weekend. I will get a strange feeling in the Sunday evening just because the weekend is getting over and i have to kick start myself the following Monday. I have coined it as “Sunday syndrome”. Believe me or not i still have that feeling when the Sunday is about to finish. Such great moments that i will cherish all my life . I don’t think any other stage in our life will give us immense happiness as our childhood days :) It is difficult to get back to our childhood days but still we can keep those moments intact and live by doing some of our fun activities. Never forget the child inside you . I still have a playful child inside me

How finally i started with Violin :)

santhana selvam — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 14:41:58 +0000

For a long time, i felt bad for not knowing to play an instrument. Many times i pushed my maximum to join an instrumental class, for that matter my favorite instrument is Violin . But somehow i didn’t get a hold of it. Since i was shuttling between Pondicherry to Chennai for my graduation i could not fix my mind in selecting a place to learn. I preferred weekend classes will be fine with me. Now i have this question why not weekdays? Anyway i didn’t have much to study in my course. If i join in Chennai my weekend trips will be sabotaged Meanwhile it is difficult for me to travel all the weekends to Pondy. I feared i might fail in my commitment and eventually i lack interest and quit my class miserably.

Now i have joined my violin class and it is been 2 months. Actually learning violin is much more difficult than i thought. No matter how difficult it is, the interest breaks all the difficulties. I travel with my violin as it is crucial to get used to it. Practice, practice, practice.. is all, what you have to do once you made your mind to learn some instrument. For violin it is twice the effort and practice. I am feeling really good that i finally achieved what i wanted. It is positive. Once you learn an instrument you will have a special ear for that in whatever song or music you hear .

3 minutes is equal to 60 minutes, Chennai Traffic!!

santhana selvam — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 12:04:14 +0000

3 is equal to 60 not logically possible but, practically Yes!

Everyday of mine starts like any-other usual day, sometimes early most of the times lately I am working as a Graphic Designer in Cognizant for the past 5 months. I would not refer me as a freshly joined employee because, i spent close to 6 months in home after graduating from my college. During that period of time i did internship in a company based in Pondicherry owned by a Frenchman (Terry Leger) scaling 6 and above in height . A man full of energy, enthusiasm and sarcasm . I made good friends there and the experience which i got is always a remarkable one, either its fun or work i enjoyed both .

I joined Cognizant on 25th of January, since then i had started to live the chennai life, i would say Chennai IT professional life rather. Initial days were little miserable as i had to stay in a couple of places like, with my friend of friend’s house, friend’s relatives’ house. In one month, i found a PG along with my friend, so far the place and the stay is good Well, coming to 3=60, usually i go by the shuttle provided by the company to office. Boarding time is 8:00 am, RTO stop, but due to city traffic i can expect the shuttle in between 8:05 to 8:10. Which means i should start from home at least at 8 sharp. It would take a 3-4 mins walk from my house to stop, a little faster walk than the normal speed of walking.

But i will always fail closing my chores from bathing to getting ready before 8:00. I will get on the nerves of my friend daily as she expects me to be on time. Even after 5 years i am not able to convince her that “i am like that”. That morning, as usual i was getting ready for the office i saw my digital watch, it showed 8:03. I am 3 mins delayed but, at times i will catch the shuttle even if i am 2 or 3 mins late. So i was doing something inbetween running and walking. At a 7 feet distance i saw my shuttle crossing me or i would say i was standing in one side of the road waiting for the green signal when the driver drove the shuttle on the opposite side. simply i stood It was like waiting for bothe signal and the shuttle to pass.

So as my policy i tried to enjoy that inconvenience, and then i took a share auto and reached the bus depot. I saw a M49, the bus which i am supposed to take, came out of the depot with no single seat left to sit. Also i saw one or two people standing without place. Though it was a meager number, but when the bus crosses Adyar it will be fully loaded. Fearing the crowd i didn’t get into it. Also i saw it was only 8:13. Another M49 was standing inside the depot. Even if i start at 8:15 i can reach the office at 9 am that was my simple calculation. So only 15 mins delay from the shuttle time to reach office. I was waiting and waiting for the bus to start.It was 8:25 in my watch by that time the bus had one or two seats left and others filled. Eventually, the conductor and driver came. :)

I was thinking ok, only 15 mins delay so, i will reach office by 9:15 am. But the tragedy struck me at all the signals. i saw my watch at adyar cancer signal it showed 8.55 am. Look how horrible was the traffic . To tell, i have covered only 30% of the travel distance at that point. One good thing was that i got a window seat, so seated comfortably from the stuffed otherwise pushing and pulling standing crowd. As i neared Ramapuram, now only 10% of the travel distance was left, i saw my watch showing 9:35. At 9:40 i reached office entrance. From there i had to walk for 5 mins. When i settled myself in the cafeteria i saw my watch showing 9:50 am. If only i had come in my shuttle i would have been there at office at 8:45.

This is the reason i titled my post as 3 mins delay will lead to 60 mins delay in Chennai Traffic. :)

Google chrome FIFA Theme is awesome :)

santhana selvam — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 08:11:45 +0000

Again this post is to sing the glory of Google. No wonder Google is the icon of the internet. There are hell a lot of reasons to tell but, today in this post i want to write how Google has beautifully adopted FIFA 2010 into itself. In google search page there is a link just right below the search box “Follow your team in the World Cup“. When i clicked the link, it took me to a page to select a Google Chrome theme or iGoogle theme for FIFA. This link again took me to another page where all the 48 countries participating in FIFA 2010 had been listed. By selecting your favourite team not less than a minute your Google Chrome theme will change with a stunningly designed backdrop. I have chosen France as my team for FIFA 2010. The idea is simply extraordinary.

FIFA has enough popularity already, with Google having themes for FIFA 2010 the popularity would reach its acme. Google is reflecting the society by being being a part of it. As a result the significance of each day/important day is reflected in its logo. Actually it is a nice practice/strategy to become an “in-thing” among the internet users. Hail Google

Speak your mind:)

santhana selvam — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 14:48:46 +0000

What is so important in life? Everybody have their own long running list in mind. Can we zero down the list? Someone who really does zeroed it down can live a perfect sage life . But who needs such an unchallengeable life. Definitely not me . The life which we live is very different from each one of us. So when we live a unique life we have to make sure certain things. For me i prefer to speak my mind in all kind of situations. Actually it helps you and keeps you happy. You want to praise someone on his/her good job do it without a thought; if you want to scold someone for their wrong act do it; if you want to speak a dare about someone go ahead; if you want to nose-cut someone who is always bullying others do it strongly; if you want to tell someone you are wrong go ahead.

So don’t hesitate to speak your mind and feel the difference in your life . It actually works a lot

Barking dogs seldom bite !!

santhana selvam — Sun, 16 May 2010 15:05:48 +0000

After sometime, this incident made me to write a new post in my blog. It was an usual evening like any- other evenings of mine after office.Me and my friend wanted to try a new eat out as suggested by one of our common friends. We had a fair taste and moderate variety of food there (actually didn’t meet the expectation of ours ) It’s a slow and lethargic walk from the eat out and this time we tried a new route which was parallel to the street we usually take to reach our house. On the way we found a newly constructed house or at least newly renovated house with a tolet board. My friend suggested me that we take a look at it. If i say no, she will start convincing me for a long time. To avoid that i simply nodded my head.

Slowly we climbed the stairs of the house. The house had many portions for at least 3 families. We heard the sound of a television transcending from the windows of one of the houses. We approached in the direction of the sound. I hit the calling bell of that house. Nobody seemed to open the door. My mind started to think what might be the reason for the no response. The person is over phone or cooking or taking bath or sleeping or deaf .

We took the stairs which was opposite to the one on which we were currently standing. I walked first and my friend followed me. There was no light, the door was just in a three feet distance. I found something dark and huge lying in front of the door which was just one feet away from me. I was surprised to see my brain that acted so sharp and fast to identify it as a huge labrador. It slowly rised its head and took a look at me. I stepped back telling my friend, “hey, there’s dog here, back off!!”. It stood and i turned immediately. They are not humans to explain why we were there and i don’t know the dog language too. . My heart started beating so fast because am just a feet away from the dog and sure i will be its first target. The sound of my heart was loud enough for the dog to hear. I sensed that it started to move from the place following us. Every-time it barked, i felt next time i will shout because it would jumped on me and had a hold of me with its teeth by that time. My friend started to flee from the place, i told please do not run, walk slowly. There is no problem if she runs because it will attack me first as i am close to it. Just imagine it was a very narrow staircase with at-least 15 steps. I cannot run in the direction i want. Slowly we reached the bottom or the last stair of the house. We happily shouted on the road after making sure that the dog is not following us. Oh my god it was a close shave .

We were highly nervous and started to laugh with a sense of great relief. My friend told me that the dog would have been tied with a rope. I told her no it was not tied i am damn sure. She didn’t believe me and asked me at least we shall note the mobile number that was left on a piece of cardboard for contact. I simply said ok. She was standing on the other side of the road in front of that house trying to see the number. I was standing right under the house next to a car parked. After sometime my friend started shouting hey run! run! the dog is coming down. Even before i hear and realize the bad situation approaching me i could not find her. The dog was furious i could sense it from the decibel of its barking sound. I made sure that i am not running. The dog is standing on one side of the car and i am on the other side. In one jump it will take hold of me.

I slowly took a step away from that place seeing whether the dog is also moving. That time a group of people walked by that side. I slipped in like a paper inside that group. After that also i was not sure that i was safe. Because dog has powerful vision. I could still hear the sound of the dog when i was in some 6 feet away from it. I slowly gathered my courage to turn back to see the dog’s position. Now it stood on the road looking at my direction and barking. I saw my friend waving her hand from a left cut that in turn was a street. ( A friend in need is a friend in deed ) But i cant blame her, when it comes to dog bite. I made sure that i am no-more visible to the eyes of the dog. I consoled myself and my friend telling actually, we cannot prevent what we can’t predict . On the way back to our house we were simply discussing the incident in each of our own way. Finally i concluded saying ” Barking dogs seldom bite” and laughed with a winking my eyes. that made my friend to start her never stop laughter.